Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
