he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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