I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
