should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
