I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
