New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
