somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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