My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
