fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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