You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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