are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize