just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
