I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He passed out mid-signature
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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