I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize