i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
