The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
