windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
