Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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