So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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