Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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