the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
