Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
