I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
