i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
love makes seman taste better
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
