Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
