just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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