"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
im six kinds of drunk right now
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
