i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
