You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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