So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize