chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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