I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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