Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
