i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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