You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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