i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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