worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
