Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
