at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize