ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
