I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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