Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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