Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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