Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
pop tarts are not kleenex
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
