Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have tasted many bathrooms
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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