We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
