Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
