I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize