Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
