morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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