Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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