She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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