Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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