Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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