turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
