Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
