Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
