My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
