just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
