how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
